Published on: 20 December 2024
“I can’t even guess at how much I’ve spent on gambling in my lifetime. It must run into hundreds of thousands of pounds.”
These are the words of John Wade, who has finally managed to escape the lure of betting after nearly 40 years, thanks to help from the East Midlands Gambling Harms Service.
“I stopped liking myself,” he said. “And that was the point I realised I had to do something about it.”
John, 53, can pinpoint the moment he discovered the thrill of gambling, and it takes him back to a family holiday in coastal Scotland.
“We went into an arcade,” he said. “I was playing on the 2p machines and I kept winning. I’d got a cup full of 2ps, and then I put them all back into the next machine until my cup was empty.
“As I got older I started playing fruit machines, using my school dinner money to play on them instead of eating.”
When John started going out with friends to pubs in his late teens, he told himself it was for the social aspect of meeting up for a few drinks. But deep down he knew it was the pull of the flashing lights of the fruit machines that kept him going back for more.
“By this time I had my own income from work, and the more I earned, the more I spent,” he said. “I was going to the bookies, spending money and getting a big win, then moving onto the next bookies. I wouldn’t stop until I had spent every penny.”
As technology moved on, John took his betting habits to gaming sites on his phone. “I was always buried in my phone. I’d bet 24 hours a day on anything; tennis matches where I didn’t know the players. I don’t even like tennis!
“The only aim was to play until the bitter end, until the balance was at zero.”
Other than a 12-month period of abstinence around his 40th birthday, John says until earlier this year he gambled every single day.
“Even when I was at work, all I wanted was to get out to go to the bookies.
“And I told so many lies to get money. I’d tell friends my wages hadn’t gone in so that I could borrow £500 from them, which I’d spend on gambling. Then I’d have a win and give it back and have to make up another excuse that it had suddenly dropped into my bank account.”
Today John, a salesman, likens gambling to throwing money away. “You wouldn’t drive along and chuck a £20 note out of the window would you?” he joked. “But that’s what gambling is.”
After a lifetime of “chaos” and shattered relationships, John started to have suicidal thoughts. “I was consistently frustrated, I was always angry – I knew something had to change so I went to my GP and really opened up to him,” he said. “He referred me to a counsellor who told me about the East Midlands Gambling Harms Service.”
John, who lives in Leicester, started attending group sessions and one-to-one sessions with psychologists from the service and said he can’t praise the team highly enough.
“I was buzzing. This was my fresh start and they really helped me to understand why I did this stupid thing so often,” he said. “I absolutely loved it. Each session was a pleasure and I was so excited to be getting help to stop.”
The East Midlands Gambling Harms Service was set up in 2023 as part the NHS Long Term Plan and is run by Derbyshire Healthcare Foundation NHS Trust.
The service has psychologists, therapists, mental health practitioners and psychiatrists, who are based in Derby but offer support to people across Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Leicestershire, Lincolnshire, Northamptonshire and Rutland.
Most of the treatment is provided online, including via video calls, but face-to-face support is also an option.
John said: “I’ve kept going on this journey, finding enjoyment in other things. My partner and I now go out for meals, for holidays and I actually enjoy them instead of always trying to sneak off to place a bet.
“These days I’ll actually go and buy myself a coffee in a café – before, I’d have seen that as a waste of money that I could have spent gambling.”
John is now passing his experience on to younger people he meets in group sessions: “I want to tell them – don’t waste your life gambling like I did. There’s a better future out there if you take the help on offer.”
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with gambling, you can contact the East Midlands Gambling Harms Service on 0300 013 2330, by emailing dhcft.emgamblingharms@nhs.net or through the website East Midlands Gambling Harms Service.
